


reshuffle the deck

by squipport



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Parents, Archivist Sasha James, Canon Rewrite, Elias Bouchard Being a Bastard, Gen, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist With a Cane, Kid Fic, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Single Parents, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25056091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squipport/pseuds/squipport
Summary: Jon has a daughter.This changes nothing.This changes everything.
Relationships: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Original Child Character(s), Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 78
Kudos: 317





	1. opening

“Hello, Jonathan Sims speaking.”

“Morning, Jon. This is Elias Bouchard. I’m aware you aren’t due back to work until next week, but something has come up. Are you free to stop by for a quick meeting today?”

Jon flounders silently, unsure of how to respond. On one hand, _of course_. This is Bouchard and his career. A year ago he wouldn’t have hesitated, would already be getting ready to head over as soon as possible.

But then there’s the other hand to consider. The one holding a cereal laden spoon just out of reach of his daughter’s grasping fingers. Alice makes an annoyed crying noise, just a short “muh!”, and bangs her small hand against the table of her high chair. Jon feeds her her spoonful of breakfast and lets her take the spoon to keep her entertained while he steps away to finish his call.

“I would, of course Mr. Bouchard but-”

“Elias is fine, please.”

“It’s just that I don’t have a babysitter on hand until, well, next week. But whatever it is, I’d be more than happy to discuss it once I’m back, or even-”

“If it’s no trouble, you could always bring your daughter along. Our meeting shouldn’t take long at all.”

The added length of the spoon allows Alice to reach her bowl on the table and Jon sighs quietly, lowering the phone out of earshot, at the mess she’s made. At least it isn’t on the floor. Yet.

“Alright, thank you, that should... be fine. I’ll come by as soon as I’m able.”

“No rush, Jon. It would be best if you could try to make it for one o’clock, but take your time.”

“Sure, yes, thank you again. I’ll see you then.”

He hangs up, sighing again and craving a cigarette.

Alice shrieks for attention, snapping Jon out of it.

She’s managed to pull the bowl closer, teetering just off the edge of the table and onto her high chair. She has one cereal covered hand to her mouth, the other, just as messy, firmly in the bowl. The spoon is still fisted in her little hand, but not at all being used properly.

“Look at you,” he coos, thoughts of research and nicotine evaporating for the time being as he helps Alice finish her breakfast.

Afterwards Jon gives her a bath and tells her about the trip they’ll be taking later. It felt silly at first, talking with a baby and narrating everything that goes on, but now it just feels natural. He holds Alice up to standing in the tub and laughs along with her as she bounces in the water.

She goes down for her morning nap not long after. Jon gets himself ready while she sleeps; he showers and combs his hair, notes that he’s in need of a trim with a grimace, and dresses. Alice is still sleeping, so he packs up her lunch and a snack in the baby bag and gently transfers her from crib to stroller. It’s an overcast day, but Jon still lowers the canopy to keep the light from her eyes, hoping she’ll stay asleep right through the meeting, though it’s unlikely.

She ends up sleeping soundly for most of the trip from Jon’s flat to the Institute, only waking once the building is in site.

“Oh, Alice it’s alright,” Jon says, shushing her as she begins to cry. He wants to stop so he can take her out of the stroller and comfort her, but they’re nearly there so he settles for pulling back the canopy and reaching forward, patting her on the shoulder so she knows he’s there before taking one of her hands, waving it gently as she continues to cry.

She’s still upset when they make it to the Institute. Jon unbuckles her from her stroller and she begins to calm down, still reaching for him and teary eyed as she sobs and hiccups. He apologizes to Rosie, thankfully the only other person in the lobby, as he gets Alice into his arms, bouncing her gently and rubbing her back as she settles. His neck is wet where her face lays and he’s sure his shirt is a mess. This had been Elias’ idea, but it still makes Jon anxious that he’ll be meeting with his boss for the first time in a year looking as he does, upset toddler clinging to him.

Jon keeps talking to her, reassurances that he’s here and she’s alright, until she’s mostly quiet again. He fetches the bottle he’d prepped beforehand from her bag and Alice takes it in both hands. He knows he should be weening her off of it, but it makes moments like these much easier.

“Sorry again,” he says to Rosie. He looks to the stairs leading up to the main part of the building, considering what he’s going to do about the stroller.

“It’s alright, Mr. Sims,” she says, smiling gently and offering him a box of tissue. He thanks her and briefly wonders if she’s a parent herself, but without pictures on her desk he has no way to be sure without asking. “Elias let me know that you and your daughter would be stopping by.”

Unsure what to say, Jon just nods and tries to clean his shirt best he can with the tissues.

Rosie gives him the go ahead to go up to Elias’ office, and even offers to keep an eye on the stroller for the duration of his meeting. He thanks her again and heads up the stairs.

Alice makes quick work of her bottle and finishes it just outside Elias’ office. Jon takes the empty bottle from her and tucks it back in the bag, switching his hold on her so she can sit up, bottom supported by his arm and his hand coming back up to hold her thigh, just in case. She holds onto his shirt with one hand and Jon smiles at her, taking her other hand and bringing it to his mouth for a kiss.

His knuckles have only barely rapped against the wood of the door when he hears a ‘come in’ from inside.

Elias is sitting at his desk, a silhouette against the light coming through from the large, round window that looks out across the Thames behind him. His chair is incredibly high-backed and ‘throne’ comes to Jon’s mind unbidden.

“Welcome, Jon,” Elias says. He stands and walks around his desk, expression masked in shadows, the only light source in the room being the overcast sky outside. “And baby Sims, of course. Please, come in.”

“It’s Alice.” Jon doesn’t know if Elias cares, really, but it felt like the thing to say.

“No!” Alice cries as Jon begins to cross the room, wiggling in Jon’s grip and hiding her face in his shirt. He rubs her back but there isn’t much else he can do to comfort her – she’s simply at that age where strangers make her nervous, and Elias is waiting for them.

Elias makes a face, the sort that communicates a distaste for children and annoyance with the situation. Despite it having been his idea to have them come, Jon’s anxiety spikes and he murmurs an apology that Elias waves off.

“Let’s get on with it then.

“I’ll be honest Jon, we’re in a bit of a scramble here. Gertrude Robinson, our head archivist, has just ‘died in the line of duty’, so to speak. I’ve gotten a team together for now, but what we really need is her replacement. I want you to take the position, Jon.”

Speechless, that’s what he is. Jon looks away, down to his daughter in his arms, affecting concern for her continued fussing and bouncing her gently. He’s stalling but, what else is there to do? So many things to consider...

But only one thing that really matters.

“I am... grateful, to have been chosen for this opportunity,” he starts, holding back a sigh for what he had to say next. “But I must respectfully decline.”

Elias says nothing, just watches him, and so Jon continues.

“I’m just coming off paternal leave, and besides that... I don’t have the qualifications for that position. Or the reliability; I need to be able to put Alice first and being in charge of the archives and the staff, on top of having to learn the required skills for such a job... I can’t promise that my attention wouldn’t be divided, and... she’s my priority. Always.

Apologies, but you’ll have to look elsewhere for your archivist, Mr. Bouchard.”

“... I see.” Elias stares at Jon silently for a short, but intense moment. Jon forces himself to keep eye contact. “Well, I can’t very well force you to accept. However, you will be transferred to the archives upon your return, as a research assistant.”

Jon nods and Elias steps away from his desk and towards the door, instructing Jon to follow him as he passes.

They head down to the archives, Elias explaining on the way that since he’s here he may as well meet the team, and now he’d have to talk to someone else about taking the job. Anger stirs in his chest, aware that Elias is instilling guilt, trying to get him to reconsider, but the guilt is stronger than the anger and so Jon resolves to keep quiet rather than say something he’ll regret.

“Oh, just one more thing, Jon,” Elias says, pausing them just outside the archives. “Gertrude left the archives in, well, quite the state. We’re very desperate to get organized here, you understand. I’ll be having some statements sent to your address, to research and follow-up on yourself.”

Jon doesn’t remind him that he isn’t due back for work until next week; somehow, he doubts Elias simply forgot. He also doubts that it’s negotiable.

Either way, Elias moves on, stepping through the door to the archives.

The archives are a mess. A frazzled figure zips past, only for Elias’ ‘Sasha, a moment?’ to bring them to pause.

Sasha turns, arms bogged down by a disorganized mess of papers and files. She looks more tired than Jon is used to seeing her and some of her curls have come undone from her ponytail, but her face brightens with a smile when she spots Jon and Alice.

“Jon! I didn’t think you were back just yet!”

“No, I-”

“Sasha,” Elias interrupts. He taps his wrist, despite not wearing a watch. “I’m very busy.”

“Right, yes, just uh-” She looks for a clear space to abandon her documents, finds none, and just leaves them on a nearby desk with a sigh before following Elias out, shrugging apologetically to Jon as she passes.

Jon waits a beat after the door closes behind them before letting out a deep sigh of relief, the absence of Elias’ cloying presence a welcome blessing.

“How are we doing, Alice?”

She lifts her head from where she’d still had it pressed against his neck, and Jon coos. She isn’t crying, but her eyes are big and full of tears, her lip wobbling. He hugs her, kisses her cheek, and sways gently to comfort her.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers and Alice sniffles in response.

“Is that my Ally Ally Oxen Free?”

Alice sees him first, shrieking with delight and making grabby hands, tears forgotten. “Tim!”

Sure enough, Tim is approaching them, arms outstretched and welcoming. He folds them both in a hug, taking Alice from Jon when they part.

“Did you tell your mean old dad how much Tim missed you, huh? Is that why you’re here?” Tim asks, tickling Alice’s sides to her screeching laughter. Jon rolls his eyes and watches them fondly, more than used to Tim’s complaint; he visits at least once a week and says something to the same effect each time.

Tim tells him to take a seat and Jon does so gratefully – it’s too much of an inconvenience to take his cane out with the stroller, so he just puts up with the pain and his knee suffers for it.

“So, why _are_ you here?”

“I was just offered head archivist, actually.”

“... oh, you’re not joking.”

“Neither was Elias, strangely enough. I turned down the job.”

“ _Good_. You’re going to be stressed enough as is, balancing coming back to work with being a good dad.”

Jon flushes at Tim’s praise, grateful for the reminder that someone else thinks he’s doing alright, that he isn’t messing this all up. “Thank you, Tim.”

“’Course,” he replies, shrugging one shoulder and smiling. He looks as if he’s about to say something else, but then the sound of footsteps distracts him. “Marto! Come meet my beautiful goddaughter!”

“Oh – sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Jon looks up to see that a stranger has emerged from somewhere deeper in the archives. They had been looking at him but quickly turn away when their eyes meet, looking to Tim instead only for his expression to morph to confusion at the site of the baby in his arms.

“Can you say ‘hi’, Ally Ally?” Tim asks her, giving her an encouraging bounce in his arms. Alice shakes her head in response and hides her face in Tim’s shirt, but Jon is relieved to see that she keeps peeking at them, no signs of the same distress from meeting Elias earlier.

“Well hello there, Ally is it?” they say, smile nervous as they approach the pair. “Wait, Tim, did you say goddaughter?”

“Sure did!” he answers, puffing with pride.

“It’s Alice, actually,” Jon corrects, rising to join them. He holds a hand out to the other. “Jonathan Sims. I take it you must work with Tim and Sasha.”

“Martin. Er, Blackwood.” He flushes and clears his throat before taking Jon’s hand in a short, polite shake. Jon notes that his hand is sweaty and tries not to let his disgust show on his face. “Are you... here to make a statement?”

Tim barks a laugh; Jon glares at him.

“Jon make a statement! That’ll be the day!” He wipes an imaginary tear from his eye, still chuckling to himself. “No, he thinks this is all bullshit.”

“Not all of it. And don’t let Alice hear you swear.”

“Alice,” he starts, suddenly serious, and he lifts Alice higher so that they’re eye to eye. “I’m aware that ‘bullshit’ is a bit advanced for you, but your dad will be very cross with me if you say it, so just ignore it when it happens, yeah?”

Her response is entire nonsense, excited babbling that Tim encourages with ‘oh?’s and ‘go on’s. He takes the baby bag from Jon during her rant, claiming she needs a change as he takes her to a side room.

“So...”

Jon had been about to follow them when Martin spoke up, having nearly forgot the other was there.

“If you’re not here to make a statement, that is, uh... was there something else you needed, i-in the archives? Something we could help you with?”

“No, I was only visiting. We’re coworkers, actually; I start down here next week.”

Martin looks as if he has something more to say, but it’s at that moment that Tim comes back, marked by a shrill cry of “da!” from Alice. She’s giving Tim a hard time, wiggling in his arms and reaching for Jon as she is, and he laughs as he takes his daughter back. Alice keeps up a steady stream of ‘dadada’s and Jon presses a fond kiss to her cheek, humming a content sigh against her skin as he holds her there for a moment.

“We should really get going.” He takes the baby bag back and Tim hugs the two of them again, gently carding his hand over Alice’s curls when they part before pressing a kiss to her head. He kisses Jon, too, just a quick peck on the forehead. Jon makes a face for show, but he’s used to it by now and Tim just chuckles softly, patting him once on the shoulder. “See you later, Tim. It was nice meeting you, Martin.”

“O-oh! You too, um... bye Jonathan. And bye-bye Alice.”

She blows a kiss as they exit through the door and Tim shouts praise after them, his cries heard all the way up the stairs. Jon apologises to Rosie for the noise and thanks her for watching the stroller, apologizing again for how long he’d kept her waiting.

And then they go home.

Jon feeds Alice a late lunch and puts her down for her second nap after they have some playtime, Alice delighting in knocking down the towers Jon builds for her from her nesting blocks.

He had been looking forward to a moment of quiet to himself, a chance to relax and read maybe, but then there’s a soft knocking at his front door just as he’s exiting the bedroom. Jon sighs and drags a hand down his face.

There’s no one there when he opens the door, but when he looks down the hall he can see two men rounding the corner to the stairwell. He glances down and finds a small package at his feet, immediately identifiable as the work Elias had mentioned early by the recognizable Magnus Institute emblem decorating the front of the envelope.

Jon takes it inside and opens it at the kitchen table. The envelope had been rather thick, but Jon still sighs once he counts out the documents within; about twenty statements, multiple pages each. At least they’d been kept organized, paper clips separating one statement from another.

There’s also a message from Elias. Jon only notices because it slips out when he’s tidying up, much smaller than the rest of the package’s contents.

_I know you’ll do great work. Welcome back._

He crumples the note in frustration. He removes his glasses and rubs his eyes, headache building. He had been looking forward to going back to work, once, but after meeting with Elias and having his last week of paternal leave robbed of him...

Jon opens his eyes and looks to the stack of work with a heavy sigh.

Well, he had been wanting to read anyway.

Jon reads the first statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up, this isn't a domestic/no powers au and 100% takes place in the canon of tma. keep an eye on the rating and tags as we advance through the plot, as they are subject to change
> 
> (i started writing this before jon & martin interacted with a kid in canon, i haven't listed to seasons 4/5 yet so please don't mention any spoilers to me)


	2. welcome back

Jon is late his first day back at the Institute.

Alice had been lovely all morning and Jon had her dressed, changed, and fed by the time his sitter had shown up. She’d even been excited for that, babbling Bea’s ear off as soon as she was in the young woman’s arms.

And then Jon had made for the door and all hell broke loose.

It’s only separation anxiety, Jon knows this, but when Alice starts to scream and cry and struggle against Bea’s hold, trying to reach for him... Jon ends up staying a while longer to comfort her, rationalizing to himself that it may make things easier on the sitter, but it starts all over again as soon as he goes to leave again.

It breaks his heart to walk away from her like that, but he really is late.

He heads straight for Sasha’s office when he gets to the archives, ignoring Tim’s attempt to draw him into a conversation. The door is open, but Jon still knocks to announce his presence.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re fired.”

He pauses.

“I’m joking. Even if that was something I could do, I know you won’t make a habit of it,” she says, finally looking up from her work to smile at him. She looks more put together than she had the other day – still noticeably tired, but without the anxious energy. “Welcome back, Jon.”

“Oh, that reminds me.” He takes a seat in the chair across from hers, resting his cane across his lap to free his hands and access his satchel. He pulls out the stack of documents Elias had sent a week ago, along with his notes and the follow-up he’d been able to manage from home, and places them on Sasha’s desk.

“What’s this?”

“I didn’t have many resources, but it’s a starting point.”

“Are these statements?”

“... yes?”

“Jon.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Why do you have statements?”

“Elias sent them to me.”

“Tell me you’re joking.”

He doesn’t.

“That can’t be legal.”

“It’s... fine. It was only one week and I had the time for it. I’ve found that reading them to Alice will put her right to sleep, and then I’m free to get work done.”

Sasha doesn’t say anything. She folds her hands on top of her desk and just looks at Jon for a moment, frowning slightly. It only lasts long enough to be uncomfortable, then, “alright. Thank you, this is really helpful.”

They don’t talk for much longer after that. Sasha gives him an assignment and Jon leaves her to get to his desk –

– only Tim ambushes him as soon as he steps out of Sasha’s office, interrupting his progress by pulling him into a strong hug.

“It is rude to ignore me, Jonathan Sims!”

“Did someone say something?” he asks, deadpan and staring at Tim full on as he does.

“Oh, you are the worst. It’s official, Sasha’s my best friend.”

“Oh, dear. How ever will I go on.”

Tim lets him go and wails about how he doesn’t love him anymore. Jon ignores him to finally get to his desk and start working, Sasha poking her head out of her office briefly to tell Tim that some of them are actually trying to get work done and could you please be quiet.

He’s able to bury himself in work for about two hours. He’s roused from his immersion by Sasha coming out to assign them further follow-up on the statements Jon had worked on the last week. He decides to take a small break to stretch and check his phone before getting back to work.

But once he gets back into it he finds that he can’t focus like before, distracted by checking the time and then his phone. Should he be concerned that there’s no update from the baby sitter? Only it’s probably a sign that everything is going fine. Unless –

It’s just paranoia feeding off his anxiety, he knows that’s all it is and that everything is fine, but how can he know that? He needs confirmation, just to calm him and let him get back to work.

Alice isn’t the only one with separation anxiety.

Jon takes his phone into the break room so he can make a call. He sets his cane on the table as he dials and begins to pace as it rings, one hand holding the phone to his ear while he bites the nails of the other, a habit he’s picked up since he stopped smoking.

Bea takes her time answering, which she immediately apologizes for once they connect. She explains that since Alice was down for her nap she’d had it on silent just in case. She then goes through everything that they’d done since Jon left that morning and answers all his questions. She tells him that Alice had cried off and on since he’d left and that she’d had to give her a bottle to get her to go down for her nap, but that it’s normal and she’ll be just fine.

Jon sighs quietly, anxiety curbed for now. He apologizes for calling her and she tells him that it’s no problem, that she’ll text an update at least once an hour if he’d like. She’s barely said the words before Jon is agreeing, thanking her again.

The call ends and Jon sighs again, deeper this time, as he settles in a chair. He takes off his glasses and presses the heel of his palms against his eyes, keeping pressure there for a moment while he just breathes. Eventually, he drags his hands down his face and when he looks up Martin is standing in the doorway, looking at him. Jon feels like he’s been caught and the back of his neck heats.

“Oh, um, sorry, didn’t mean to – are you alright?”

“I’m, ah – yes. Yes, fine...”

The awkwardness stretches to silence and Jon fiddles with his cane where it still lays on the table, considering how to get out of this situation.

“Well... I was going to make some tea. Would you like a cup?”

“... I should really get back to work.” He stands, collects his cane, and walks past Martin to his desk. It’s only belatedly that he realizes he’d been rude, but he hadn’t wanted to impose.

He lets work distract him until an update from Bea rouses him, and it’s then that he notices he’s been brought tea anyway, long since gone cold.

  
  


The updates help with the anxiety, but its still there, thrumming beneath his skin and squeezing his chest painfully. It’s bearable but distracting, and by the time they’re breaking for lunch Jon is back to compulsively checking his phone.

He’s looking at it again, standing over his desk with his coat half on. Something touches his elbow and it startles him enough to make him flinch, dropping his phone to his desk. Sasha retracts her hand and Jon slowly breathes out the startled noise he’d bitten back, pulling his coat all the way on.

“Why don’t you go home for the day?”

“What?”

“A half day,” Sasha clarifies. She looks Jon over, considering. “Maybe for the rest of the week, too.”

“... why?” he asks. He casts his gaze away for a second, looking for Martin and wondering if he had said something, but it’s only the two of them.

“You seem... off. Distracted. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why.”

Jon doesn’t answer right away. Sasha reaches out again and grasps his elbow, squeezing it briefly.

“It’s just for your first week back. That way Alice can get used to you being gone. After that I expect you to work the same hours as everyone else, got it?”

“... are you sure? I mean, can you even – does Elias have to approve something like that?”

He watches something in her expression harden and the pressure where she is still holding him increases minutely.

“No, I’ll handle it. It’s fine, really. Go home. Say hi to Alice for me,” and she smiles here, intensity immediately gone.

“...”

Sasha sighs and rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling slightly when Jon looks up at her so he interprets it as fond over exasperated at his hesitance. “Take work home with you, if it will make you feel better. Might even get more done, without all that worrying you’re doing.”

“... alright. I’ll do that,” he says, finally relenting. And because he recognizes that she’s doing him a favour, and maybe to make up for his earlier impertinence, he adds, “thank you.”

He texts Bea about the schedule change on his way home and ignores the incoming texts from Tim, claiming that he’s flirting with the boss for time off.

“I’m home,” Jon calls into the flat. He toes his shoes off and leaves his bag by the door, electing to leave his jacket on for now in search of Alice.

He finds her with Bea in the living room, scribbling with crayons on paper that’s been laid out on the floor. Alice is chattering happily enough to Bea, no signs of her earlier tantrums.

“Right then, what are we drawing?” Jon asks, joining them on the floor.

“Dada!” Alice screeches, finally taking notice of him. She abandons her crayon to crawl towards Jon, pulling herself to standing once she’s close enough. She starts to bounce, excitedly monologuing at him, and Jon holds her hands to keep her from falling.

He doesn’t hold her attention for long, Alice climbing down to go back to her colouring after a couple minutes of, Jon can only assume, catching him up on what she’d been up to all day. He draws with her and Bea for a short while before standing, knee protesting, and leaving to change out of his work clothes. He grabs his bag from where he’d left it by the door and sets up at the dining room table, within Alice’s line of sight, getting to work.

When she starts yawning, Jon insists on putting Alice down for her nap. Afterwards, he and Bea chat while she waits for her ride, deciding that until the end of the week she will leave early when Jon gets home in the afternoon. Their conversation doesn’t last too long, of which Jon is secretly grateful, before her friend shows up and they say goodbye. Jon watches from the window as she mounts the motorbike, her bright colours clashing against the blacks that her friend wears, and the two ride off down the street.

The rest of the night is uneventful. Alice wakes from her nap and Jon sets her up with a large-pieced puzzle in her highchair while he makes dinner, directing her from the stove and coming over to help when he has a spare moment. Afterwards, she’s content enough to cuddle on the sofa while Jon reads, which eventually transfers to Jon setting his book aside in lieu of playing airplane, Alice laying across his bent knees. Then it’s bath and bed time and while she sleeps, Jon finishes his work for the day before going to bed himself.

It continues, more or less, the same for the rest of the week. By Thursday, Jon is feeling much more confident about being away from Alice that he makes plans with Bea to be slightly late getting home, giving him time to join Sasha, Tim, and Martin for lunch on Friday.

He talks with Sasha about work for a time, would have been happy to listen to her ideas on organization and the process she had outlined to get the archives back on track for the entirety of lunch, but Tim only lets it go on for so long before announcing a ban on shop talk and redirecting the conversation.

“What’s everyone's plans for the weekend?” When no one volunteers any information, he asks Sasha directly.

“Oh, nothing much. Seeing an art exhibit,” she says. Jon notes that she’s lowered her gaze, avoiding eye contact as she smiles softly.

“Oh, yeah? Hot date?” Tim asks. He leans closer to her, elbow braced on the table and grin cheek as he waggles his eyebrows.

“Oh, who knows with him?” she returns, drawing closer as well, chin propped on the heel of her palm. “And you, Tim? What are your plans?”

He backs off, sitting up straight and clearing his throat. “It’s Jon’s turn, actually. Clock-wise, and all that.”

Jon shrugs, all eyes suddenly on him. “I was just going to stay in.”

“Boring!”

“But I’m sure Tim will attempt to drag me out to something, and I will remind him,” he pauses here to give the aforementioned a pointed look, “that I don’t have a weekend babysitter.”

He rolls his eyes and flips his hand dismissively. Jon sighs, still fully expecting for Tim to barge into his flat at some point over the weekend.

“How about you, Marto?”

“Um, nothing much. Might do a class, well, workshop, really, but, you know... haven’t decided anything yet, definitively,” he stutters out, looking to each of them in turn before deciding to look at no one.

“Yeah? What’s it on?” Tim asks.

“It’s a, uh... poetry writing workshop,” he says, voice getting weaker and cheeks flushing darker as he nears the end of his sentence.

“Neat!” Tim says. When he says nothing else, Martin seems to become increasingly flustered, face growing more red as he wrings his hands.

“That’s not on Saturday, is it?” Sasha chimes in. “Would you mind if I joined you?”

“Oh, well, it’s not like – it’s not _my_ workshop, or anything, ‘course you can. I can... text you the info?”

“Great, thanks!” She grabs Tim’s arm to check the time on his watch. “Guess we should head back soon.”

Jon is quietly relieved and joins Sasha and Tim in tidying their table and packing up.

“What about Tim’s plans?” Martin asks.

“You heard the boss! There’s no time, Marto! If we don’t get back who knows what will become of the archives. The statements could be making a run for it as we speak!”

“Alright then... keep your secrets.”

“I will! Thank you!”

They say their goodbye’s. Sasha grasps Jon’s bicep briefly and squeezes, the closest they ever get to a hug. Tim has no such issues and wraps his arms around Jon’s back, content as always to simply hold Jon despite his hesitance to reciprocate. Tim promises to see him on Sunday, dropping a kiss into Jon’s hair as he pulls away. Martin gives him a small wave and a “see you Monday!”, which Jon returns, though with less enthusiasm.

They part ways then, Jon headed in the opposite direction towards the station. He gets home and has a quiet night in with Alice, and then a quiet Saturday at home with her as well, the weather too chilled to go out and do much else.

And on Sunday, Tim comes by just as promised and laments to Jon about the date that wasn't a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bea and her friend (kenelm) are my ocs.... theyre not going to show up or be mentioned much i dont think, but i didnt want it to be just a blank, space filler character bc that seemed weak and lazy to me... also if youre curious bea's full name is beatrice "honey" ogden, but since this is her job she doesn't go by her more casual nickname
> 
> this chapter was sort of a part two to introducing 1) the fic's concept as well as 2) the actual characters and jons relationship with them. next couple chapters will be focused on strengthening jon's relationships and really defining them, and then we start moving into actual, canon plot
> 
> also !! thank you so much to everyone that commented last chapter ! i was so excited to share this and i think i have a lot of cool ideas for this au, but i really wasn't expecting such a reception from the get go !! i hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter and i cannot wait to show you what i have for next weeks update ! (:


	3. lament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter could be interpreted as romantic jontim, but that wasn’t my intent while writing it. my intentions were normalizing intimacy between friends, ace/aro solidarity manifesting as casual affection, and self-indulgence.

The mattress dips behind him, warmth slotting against his back and a weight settling over him. There’s an arm slung over his hip, hand following the curve of his ribs, gently pulling him closer as they settle.

“You smell like cigarettes,” Jon mumbles, eyes still closed against the morning.

“Sorry,” Tim whispers. “I can –”

“Stay.”

  
  


“Morning!” Tim says to him later, after waking up a second time and shuffling into the kitchen. His hair is still damp from a shower and he’s wearing Jon’s clothes, sweatpants and a shirt that are too small on him. He’s making pancakes at the stove and Jon sidles up behind him, disappointed but unsurprised to find he only smells of soap now, cheek pressed against his shoulder blades. Jon rests there for a moment, leaning into Tim and letting him support Jon’s weight, keeping him upright. From here he can see Alice, sat in her highchair at the table. She’s made a mess by mashing bananas into her pancakes and Jon smiles. When he finally gets out his own “good morning” it’s as much directed at her as it is Tim.

He extracts himself from Tim as he’s finishing up and joins Alice at the table. Tim follows shortly after, toting two plates of pancakes. He kisses Jon on the head as he delivers his plate before sitting across from him with his own, Alice sat between them.

“Is it something we’re talking about?” Jon asks after a breakfast that was mostly had in silence. He’s doing the dishes at the sink while Tim cleans up the mess of Alice’s hands and face while she protests.

“... yeah. Just, not yet?”

Jon nods and focuses on the dishes. They move to the living room and Tim plays with Alice on the floor while Jon reads on the sofa. He joins them eventually, Alice pulling herself up from the coffee table and cruising over to the couch, patting at his leg to get his attention.

They talk about work, and Jon’s book, and Alice’s upcoming birthday while helping her play with her blocks. They talk about nothing. They don’t talk about Sasha, or art exhibits, or guilty pleasure cigarettes.

Alice sits in Jon’s lap on the sofa while he reads her a story book, Tim curled into his side and listening quietly. When she starts yawning Tim moves first, sweeping her up into his arms and kissing her cheek. He bends down to let Jon get a kiss in before taking her to the bedroom for her nap. Jon turns on the TV and puts it on low, ignoring it in favour of returning to his book.

Tim comes back some ten minutes later and joins him on the couch, laying half on top of Jon, wedged between him and the back of the sofa. He doesn’t say anything so Jon ignores him, finishing the chapter he’d been reading before closing his book and stretching to place it on the coffee table.

“Are we talking about it now?” Jon asks when Tim remains silent.

“Ugh,” he groans, turning his face further into Jon’s shoulder. When he speaks again it’s muffled.

“Sorry, could you repeat that. I didn’t quite catch it.”

Tim pinches his side and Jon slaps his hand away. Tim tries to do it again and Jon grabs his hand, holding it in one of his own away from his body, so Tim pinches him with his other hand, out of Jon’s reach where it is half buried under Tim himself. Jon kicks him in the shins and Tim retaliates, but stops pinching him. It’s not really any better so Jon attempts to restrain Tim’s legs with his own, and then they’re each just trying to pin the other down.

At least until Jon’s knee twists wrong and he bites his tongue to keep from crying out. Tim is off him in a second, rushing to the kitchen and returning shortly with an icepack. He slides behind Jon and moves his legs atop his own, applying the ice to his knee.

Tim apologizes and Jon waves it off, the pain already fading. Tim keeps the icepack in place even as he begins to gently massage his knee and Jon sits up.

“Talk, before there’s another casualty.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he sighs, head thumping against the back of the couch.

“I can think of plenty, be more specific.” Tim reaches with the hand not resting on Jon’s knee to try pinching him again, but Jon catches it between his own and holds it still. Keeps holding it, under the guise of restraining Tim, who knows better but doesn’t comment on it.

“I just... she never answered my question, you know? If it was a date or not.”

“Did you want it to be a date?”

Tim shrugs.

Thing is, Tim doesn’t. He likes to flirt, likes to go out and meet someone and take them home, he likes to have a good time... but he doesn’t date, likes to keep things casual. Dating leads to expectations, he’d said once, one’s he can’t follow through on. Jon had understood, though for different reasons.

“Is that what – what all that heckling was about the other day?”

“Wouldn’t call it ‘heckling’... badgering, or pestering, maybe. But that’s being generous, really, it was only teasing.”

“Fine, fine, but _why_.”

Tim is quiet for a moment. He’s looking past Jon, out the window, though Jon suspects he isn’t looking at anything at all.

“Would be easier, I suppose,” he says finally, words carried on a sigh. “To have her make the choice, rather than... Then I could play the right part: the friend or the boyfriend, rather than this, I dunno, this _limbo_...”

“But do you even want that? To be someone’s boyfriend?”

“That’s just it, isn’t it? It should be easy, it should be ‘no’, right? ‘No, of course not’. But... but it’s not _someone_. It’s _Sasha_. And I just...” He pauses to blow out a heavy breath. “I know I... just, it’s different with Sasha, than it is with you. You’re both my best friends, but it’s not the same. I just don’t know if... Jon... I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, and I just... don’t know if it’s – it’s love, or something else... I just, don’t really know what to do with any of this, I guess.”

“Well. That certainly explains why you were smoking,” Jon says, unthinking. He cringes once the inadequacy catches up to him, but what does one say in response to that.

Tim laughs anyway, though is lacks humour. They lapse into silence and Jon racks his brain for something to say, if not advice then at least something to distract or ease the stress, but falls short. He huffs out a breath and releases Tim’s hand where its still held in his, throws his arms around his neck before he can think too much on it and drags Tim down with him until they’re both laying down again. The icepack falls to the floor to defrost and puddle, forgotten, while they get comfortable.

“I’m not sure what you need from me,” he confesses in the quiet.

“This is a pretty nice start,” Tim answers. He stretches up just long enough to plant a kiss square on Jon’s forehead then rests with his head tucked under Jon’s chin.

Jon hesitates before placing a hand on the back of Tim’s neck and carding his fingers through the hair on the back of his head. He feels Tim’s answering sigh against his throat and grows more confident in the attention he gives him.

They still eventually, gently dozing on the couch but never slipping fully into sleep, until Alice begins to fuss in the other room, nap time over.

“I got her,” Tim murmurs before rising.

Jon stretches on the couch and flips the channel to a children’s program before getting up himself. He can hear Tim cooing to Alice in the bedroom from the kitchen and smiles to himself. He moves the barstool he keeps in the corner to the counter while he prepares making lunch. Tim brings Alice out as he’s getting the soup on the stove and Jon pauses what he’s doing to take her in his lap.

“How was your nap, baby?”

Alice responds with a big yawn before swaying forward, planting a big, wet kiss just shy of Jon’s mouth. It’s slimy and gross and Jon feels something in his heart swell, a swooping sensation, and he peppers kisses over her cheeks and nose until she’s laughing.

“I love you so much,” he whispers to her, giving her a gentle hug before letting Tim take her back in his arms and retreating to the living room to let Jon keep making lunch.

Jon then peppers the tomato soup generously, Alice unable to eat it anyway since it’s canned, and gives it a quick stir. He gets a pan on the stove and lets it heat while he butters bread – whole grain for himself and Alice, and white sandwich bread for Tim – and cuts slices of cheese.

He cooks Alice’s grilled cheese first so it has time to cool off and cuts it into easier to manage slice’s while Tim’s cooks. He calls them back into the kitchen once his own is cooking and begins dishing out bowls of soup for himself and Tim.

“Look, Ally Ally! Your dad made lunch. Can you say ‘thank you, daddy’?”

Alice wiggles in Tim’s arms and protests when he tries to seat her in her highchair, screeching loudly when he tries to set her down.

“Tim!” she cries when he pulls her back from the chair.

“Alice –”

“It’s alright, Jon,” Tim interrupts. He sits at the table and spreads his legs so Alice can stand between them. He keeps an arm around her, hand holding her securely around her chest to keep her in place, and scoots his chair in so that they’re closer to the table, bracketing her in. “I got her. It’s fine just the once, yeah?”

He wants to argue against it – should, even, so as to not encourage the behaviour repeating in the future. But he knows Tim will keep a careful eye on her and Alice will be good, having already calmed and playing with Tim’s other hand where it rests on the table in front of her.

“... fine,” he relents. He turns off the stove and brings their dishes to the table, sitting on Tim’s left side so he can help Alice eat if she needs it while leaving a hand free for Tim to eat his own food.

They finish lunch and Tim leaves, promising Alice that he’ll be back soon when she gets upset. Jon tries to distract her with flashcards then books then blocks then toys, but she stays just on that edge between fine and upset for the entirety of Tim’s absence, clinging to Jon’s arm or leg when she can.

Tim doesn’t get back until Alice is already down for her second nap. He’s changed out of Jon’s clothes, now washed and tucked into a plastic bag that he hands over. In his other hand is a backpack, packed with Tim’s sleep clothes and work clothes that he’ll iron out in the morning.

“Thank you,” Jon says, taking the bag and putting it aside for now rather than away.

Tim nods and joins him on the sofa, dropping his bag by his feet.

“I’ve been thinking about your problem,” Jon starts without preamble.

“Oh?”

“Hm. It – it’s going to sound too simple perhaps, but... have you considered just talking to Sasha about this?”

“Is that what you would do, if you were me?”

“No. But I’m not you.”

“... go on.”

Jon exhales deeply before continuing, collecting his thoughts now that he was sure Tim would hear him out with an open mind. “You don’t really... mask your emotions. You’re more of an open book. So if it’s something that is... stressful for you – what I mean is, if you feel that you can’t solve this dilemma because you can’t make sense of the full scope of your feelings for Sasha... maybe talking with her would help? You could at least get an answer on what she wants, moving forward.”

“What if talking about it ruins what’s there?”

“Oh, I meant –” he pauses and thinks back on what he’d said, realizes he’d left out a crucial piece of his argument. “That’s what I was trying to explain, about your uh – I just think, it’s very likely that Sasha will be able to tell that something is going on with you, eventually. Confrontation is inevitable, you just need to decide if it’s on your terms or hers.”

“...”

“Or – who knows, really? I could be wrong. New position, getting the archives back on track... she might be too busy to notice when – if, if you start to... let your worries and feelings... bleed through the cracks, a little...” Jon clears his throat and stands suddenly. “That’s – that’s all I had to say. I’m going to – Alice should be getting up now, er... be right back.”

He retreats to the bedroom, closing the door behind him just loud enough that it should begin to wake Alice without startling her. He rubs her back and speaks softly to coax her awake, picking her up once she’s yawned and blinked her eyes open. He lays her down on the blanket he keeps on his dresser top and gets her changed, tickling the bottoms of her feet when it looks as if she’s going to fall back asleep.

He sets Alice down on the floor in the corner with her stuffed toys, taking a couple minutes to himself to tidy up – it isn’t stalling if he’s being productive – but there’s only so much he can do.

“Alright,” Jon says and he only sighs a little. He picks Alice up, who makes a small noise of protest but is otherwise fine, still clutching a stuffed elephant. “Let’s go see Tim.”

That perks her right up and she waves her toy excitedly in both hands as she repeats Tim’s name over and over. She shrieks it one last time directly into Jon’s ear – _ow_ – when she see’s him in the living room and in her excited reaching to have him take her drops the elephant to the floor. No one mentions it.

“Ally Ally Oxen Free!” Tim cries, smiling wide as he gathers her into his arms. “It’s been years! Eons!”

Jon rolls his eyes at the theatrics of it all. Tim blows a raspberry against Alice’s belly which has her screaming with laughter. They entertain her and hold light conversation for a while – Tim suggests that they come kayaking with him in the summer – and eventually decide to go out. Tim gets Alice bundled up in her coat – pink, despite Jon’s attempts to avoid gender stereotypes; it had simply been too cute on her – and tugs on her mitts, hat, and boots while Jon gets the baby bag ready.

They go for a walk and it’s nice, despite the cold. It hasn’t snowed much, but the ground is still slippery in spots and Jon nearly falls when his cane gives out under him. Tim laughs, asks if he’s alright, and offers Jon his arm to hold onto which Jon only accepts after he nearly falls over again.

The plan had been to grab something to eat and take it back to Jon’s flat, but they’re so chilled when they get to the restaurant that they decide to dine in instead. Tim brings Alice’s birthday back up while Jon carefully picks the tomatoes from his fattoush to feed her, along with some chicken and rice.

“Is it just us, then?” he asks, referring to the party’s guests.

“I was going to ask Sasha if she was interested in coming by, but I can refrain if –”

“It’s hardly bad enough to warrant that. We still work together, it’s fine. And besides! More presents for Ally Ally that way!”

“Ah?” Alice says, responding to her name. She holds one of her tomatoes up to Tim, attempting to share despite it having previously been in her mouth.

Tim takes it in stride, thanking Alice and taking the tomato from her, pretending to eat it before setting it aside on a napkin. She laughs at him and offers up another tomato.

“What about Martin?”

“What _about_ Martin?”

“Are you inviting him?”

“Why would I do that?”

Tim shrugs. He’s staring down at his plate, pushing his food around with his fork without eating it. “Just seems like it might be rude, I guess. Everyone else from the archives is going.”

“I hardly know Martin. He’s only met Alice once.”

“Well, you need to make friends eventually,” Tim says, pushing his rice away and instead stealing a bite of Jon’s chicken. “It’s a birthday party; the more the merrier, yeah?”

“Oh, should I invite Elias as well then?”

“Ugh, don’t even joke about that.” Tim shudders exaggeratedly. “Having him check in on us from time to time is bad enough, don’t need to see him outside of work as well.”

“He’s not... that bad,” Jon tries, unable to keep himself from grimacing as he says it.

“He really is. Don’t invite him.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

“I still think you should invite Martin.”

“Fine! Fine, I will... consider mentioning it to him. Happy?”

“Very.” Tim grins and steals another bite of Jon’s chicken. “Hear that, Ally Ally? Martin’s coming to your birthday.”

“Mm. Muh!”

“Oh, you gonna say ‘Martin’, Ally Ally? Come on, then. Martin.”

“Mm! Tim!”

“Close!”

“Please don’t encourage this.”

“Martin. Mmaaaartiiinn.”

“Tim!”

“Tim.”

“What?”

“That’s enough.”

It’s... silly, definitely, and selfish, probably, but he doesn’t want her next word, only her fourth, to be _Martin_.

Tim holds his hands up placatingly, shushing Alice and muttering a conspiratorial “come on, you heard the boss!” when she calls his name again. There’s a beat, then Alice babbles a string of nonsense prompting Tim to mock offense, both Sims’ laughing at his exaggerated expression.

They go home. Alice falls asleep on the way back, and nearly stays that way as she is changed into her pajamas. Jon and Tim take turns between getting reading for bed themselves and holding her, and rather than leave Alice to sleep in her crib and Tim going off to the spare bedroom, the three cuddle close on Jon’s bed, Alice nestled between Jon and Tim as they hold onto each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so ! i have been working on this chapter as ive been posting the previous two, i now have no prepared material and updates are going to slow WAY down ! turns out im a slow writer, averaging 200 words/day, so expect 3-4 weeks between updates from here on in...  
> i dont identify as aromantic, so if anything i wrote about tim's experience with aromanticism and trying to come to terms with his feelings for sasha is Not Okay please let me know so i can do better in the future  
> real quick bc idk if none chronic pain folks will get it - first up, idk what, specifically, is Up with jon's knee but i'm using my own experiences as influence. before i started keeping a barstool near my kitchen for bad pain days, dishes and cooking were a chore. it's not a laziness thing, it's a crutch the same as his cane he just doesn't need it as much
> 
> i hope yall enjoyed this chapter bc i had a blast writing it ! i love tim a lot and i miss him every day 😔

**Author's Note:**

> [find me on tumblr here](https://tlmstoker.tumblr.com/tagged/op_fic) (i post previews 😉)
> 
> gonna try for weekly updates, but im a student so we'll see how that goes  
> edit: updates are going to be at least 3-4 weeks between as of august 2nd, 2020
> 
> comments definitely increase motivation though and absolutely feel free to message me about this au on tumblr, im very excited to be working on and sharing it


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